Friday, February 4, 2011

Nature of Love or Love of Nature

I have been in love to the same lady since I was 7 years old. I know, shocking! While you may find this downright strange, or even feel the urge to say I was too young at the time to understand what love was/is, allow me to provide some details. I haven’t waivered in this love of nearly 23 years. Sure, an occasional opportunity to flirt has presented itself, but I have never strayed from my lover.  I have spent the night elsewhere, but as soon as I can, I come back to this gorgeous creature, make up and continue where we left off in out relationship of epic proportions. My lover is older, much older in fact. She has been around for years, seen things I can only imagine and probably had more experiences than I care to discuss. She isn’t perfect, but darn close. She has also seen some disasters, and had some people do some pretty horrible things to her. When we are together, we don’t discuss the past, but focus on our future.

To me, she gives me piece of mind. I know she may not be around forever, but she stays in shape, looks young and is always so beautiful, even after getting caught in the worst of weather. She calms me like a handful of xanax, while not giving any adverse side effects. My love, as trite as it is to say, completes me, and without her, I can’t live. She had me the first time I laid eyes on her, and I knew there would be years of joy if I could be with her.

To her, I may not be placed on as high of a pedestal. She can do better than me. In fact, being with me hurts her in the long run, but we are addicted to each other. To her, I validate what she does, what she represents and what she aspires to be. She loves the level of respect I show her and she knows I would never do anything to hurt her. In fact, it is very fair to say that this is a one sided relationship, but I don’t care.

My past relationships have been different, with me seemingly taking sacrifices of some kind of another, losing part of myself in each, until I become a shell of a man. This long lasting love affair hasn’t been like this. In fact, this nearly quarter century relationship has only made me a better person. It hasn’t given me guilt or had me buy expensive jewelry. In fact, it is the lowest maintenance relationship I have ever had. She doesn’t mind my love of hip-hop, or the fact that I stop and take pictures of everything. She only asks that I respect my surroundings and don’t do anything to upset her friends. Sure, she has many other people who love her, but she makes me feel special and unique, like if I weren’t with her, she wouldn’t be the same.

In case you couldn’t tell, my love is nature, more specifically Yellowstone National Park. I first laid eyes on it while I was young, and within seconds, I knew that this would be my one true love. Even thinking about my first time there brings goose bumps over me. I remember the first time she tried to break up with me, in 1988. The fires burned her deep, scarring her for decades, but despites the tears streaming down my face I still loved her. The year passed and my love only grew. Soon she was recovering faster than anyone could imagine and each year I saw her, the bond became stronger. She became full grown again, full of life and regaining the vibrant energy that made me fall for her in the first place.

Later in life I had a chance to work right by my love, giving me the time to really get to know her on my days off. I loved her even more on these days, something I didn’t think was possible. I was in another relationship, but this girl couldn’t hold a candle to the park. The park gave me beauty in so many ways without any drama. The park was safe, and unlike real love, the park required very little effort.

Love takes work, any kind of love. I love my dog and I love my parents, but some days it is tough. My love for nature never wavers. It is a constant in a world where I feel nothing is calm. Looking at me, would you believe I haven't had a girlfriend in over a year? (SHHHH, just humor me, ok?) This is because while I know cute girls, they are attracted to different guys and even so, I do not view them like that. I am picky about who I let into my life, and if I have to be alone, I am ok with that because if for nothing else, I have my girl nature. The girl who always makes me smile, makes the rain/sleet/snow all seem bearable, just for that one second of bliss she can grant me with an incredible vista.

Nature will always be my one true love, and on this Valentines Day, when people are spending copious amounts of money on someone else, I’ll be on a mountain, sitting back on a log or stump, madly in love with my surroundings, happy to know that why I am alone in humanity, I am surrounded by the one thing I love more than anything else. The nature of love is too hard to write about, but my love for nature is real and pure, and knowing I will forever be in love with something brings a smile to my face on the loneliest of days.

Douglas Scott

No comments:

Post a Comment